Happy New Year, beauties.
I’m taking my sweet time making my annual list of the things, feelings and experiences I want to manifest in this exciting new year. It’s a list-making exercise I absolutely LOVE to do, and if you want to try it for yourself, grab the worksheet here!
But, while my master list of intentions may not be ready yet, without a doubt, SELF-LOVE always makes my yearly list.
For me, everything starts with self-love.
Everything begins with nurturing myself, boosting myself up, and being generous (and forgiving!) with myself… so that I can give freely and abundantly to others.
But I do have a confession to make: there are moments where I fall down on this front.
Where I slip into trash-talking my body. Where I look in the mirror and don’t feel slim/strong/curvy/soft/sexy enough. It doesn’t matter what the “adjective of that moment” is, the feeling is the same: disconnected, disrespectful, and disempowered.
And the thing is that, once you’re a mom, these ‘slips’ don’t just affect you.
Here’s a true story that’ll show you what I mean: About a year after I’d given birth to my baby girl (who’s now 6!), I noticed my three-year-old son was repeatedly pinching his tummy. I observed him for a day or two, and then asked him how his tummy was feeling and why was he squeezing himself like that. He said, “Mommy, I saw you doing it.”
Oh, crap. Yes, he did.
The real truth is that my tummy had become a “problem area” after my daughter was delivered via C-section. The painful recovery I endured meant that I couldn’t exercise as soon or as much as I wanted to. But in hindsight I can also admit that I just wasn’t as motivated anymore now that I had two little ones to look after.
Until that point I’d never really had a stubborn layer of fat around my middle. I had thought I was being patient and loving with myself about it, but the negative self-talk toward my tummy was slowly growing louder and manifesting in the ways I touched my body. My son was right—I was unconsciously poking and prodding my belly rolls.
I silently berated myself, with my inner thoughts nagging me to the core:
This is it, Dana. Your sexiest days are O.V.E.R.
Seriously… what the hell?
Here I was, leading workshops for the moms in my community about Self-Love and Sensual Body Confidence and I was serving myself an unhealthy dose of smack talk on the daily.
I felt like a fraud. I was upset that I was being cruel to myself and worse, for doing it unconsciously in front of my kids.
My son’s mimicking behavior sounded a wake-up call to drop the body shaming and learn how to love — and respect — my body on a daily basis.
For my own benefit, but even more for the benefit of my children! Because I knew – and still know, every. single. day – that it’s MY responsibility to set a positive example for them on what it looks like to love, respect and celebrate your body, just as it is. Forty pounds up or down. Rolls, saggy boobs, and big round thighs included.
Don’t you agree with me? Because how WE treat our bodies is how THEY will treat theirs.
And that’s why I chose to share the actual practice I used to “Learn to Love My Belly, Boobs and Thighs After Babies” in my new Truth Bomb Moms video.
(1:12) The actual nasty crap my inner critic says to me (does any of this sound familiar?)
(1:56) The “truth bomb” that finally got me to stop treating my body like it was the enemy
(2:26) The daily affirmation practice I taught myself to look at my reflection with love, respect and sensuality, instead of judgment and disgust.
(2:47) Real-life examples of how to flip your “negative body banter” into a positive, self-love affirmation.
(3:25) The key to creating real change with this self-love practice.
(4:05) How to create this body-lovin’ practice WITH your kids.
(5:10) The ‘bonus’ effect of this self-love practice for your romantic relationship.
Please go ahead and check out the video.
Then, get your sweet ass in front of the mirror to try this practice out for yourself 😘.
As always, thanks so much for stopping by and watching my videos.
In the comments below, let me know what it felt like to actively shift from talking trash about your body to consciously practicing love and respect for it instead.
PS: This is the 2nd of a series of videos I’ll be sharing over on Facebook’s Truth Bomb Mom.
If you haven’t checked them out yet, do yourself a favor and head over there now! On TBM, it’s real moms getting real about the most important job of all: being a mom. From bullying to stretch marks to sex-after-kids, there’s no topic too hot to take on. I’m super excited to be a Truth Bomb Mom, and I hope you’ll stay tuned in for more from me and the other amazing mamas sharing our truth!