It seems like no matter where we look, there are opinions about the right or wrong way to be a mother: in parenting books, blogs, social media, mom groups, at school drop-offs and playdates.
As if giving birth and raising them wasn’t already hard enough!
The scary thing is that for every “right way” presented by one expert, there are ten other alternative “right ways” to do it.
Everyone has an opinion on what we should feed our kids, how to deal with their tantrums, and how to raise them to be smart and successful. And it’s not just the experts – it’s our friends and family too. And it’s enough information and opinions to make us question even the smallest of our daily decisions!!
All these voices challenging us to “do motherhood better” can create massive waves of self-doubt where there should only be self-confidence. (And that sucks).
We can wind up in a cycle of insecurity and unfair comparison that leave us feeling MUCH LESS CONFIDENT than we are worthy of feeling. (And that sucks, too).
And while insecurities are obviously a normal part of the human experience, my opinion is this:
Self-doubt is on the opposite side of the spectrum from feeling SATISFIED, SENSUAL, and SEXY as a grown woman who is taking great care of her children.
You are NOT meant to live your life feeling anything less than amazing. You are meant to feel CONFIDENT. You are meant to stand in your power.
So let’s throw away the idea of being a more perfect mom, and focus instead on becoming a MORE CONFIDENT MOM.
In this week’s video, I share one key tip to help you become a more confident mother. It’s a practice I call… BEING MORE YOU. It’s super simple, because it’s just about being yourself, but MORE.
The truth is that there is nothing your kids and partner want more than YOU.
The real you—in all your unique, and perfectly imperfect ways.
So, it’s time to stop trying to be so Insta-perfect, and BRING MORE of YOU into your mothering.
The “Be More You” approach is about acknowledging whoever it is that you truly are — be it silly, brainy, spiritual, wild, weird, uber-organized or ultra-carefree — and sharing more of THAT into your parenting style, without giving a care to who is watching.
Try it and see how it builds your confidence.
After the video, take a few minutes to think about how you can bring MORE of your authenticity and awesomeness, more of the REAL YOU, into the way you mother.
And then start consciously turning down the noise of other people’s opinions. Stop yourself from cross-referencing your decisions on Google and go with your gut instinct more. Trust yourself, more. And have more FUN with it.
In my mind, there is NOTHING more powerful in boosting your confidence as a mother than BECOMING MORE YOU. Nothing more effective than rewriting your definition of an “awesome mother” in a way that HONORS and CELEBRATES who you TRULY ARE – not who you think you should be based on someone else’s opinion.
(Don’t you feel more confident and empowered just READING that last bit?)
Although this “be more you” philosophy takes a bit of practice, I promise the rewards will be worth the effort.
Check out, enjoy, and leave a comment under the post here to let me know what you think!
XOXO,
Dana
I was encouraged by this video to try to be more weird. My husband and I recently had a date night and he remarked that I’m happier and weirder when the kids aren’t around. He felt that I’m more the me I was before we had kids when they’re not around. I’m not 100% sure why this is, but I want him to see me as the woman I was before we had kids a lot more. I feel like I was less angry and stressed out before I had kids, even though I had a VERY stressful job at the time. Haven’t figured out 100% how to do this, hopefully the spontaneity will just flow and with it my happiness.
Hi Hannah – Thanks for the comment and personal story. Just reinforces how COMMON this experience is — and also, how it truly does affect our partner’s experience of us as well. My suggestion to you (and this is something I do myself) is that, when I feel myself getting irritated/controlling/angry/bored/etc around my kids and I want to bring more of myself the situation (i.e., more playful, spontaneous, creative, free-spirited, wild), I remind myself to “push reset.” And then I actually act as if I’m pushing a reset button (sound effects included) and then I whisper to myself, “Be more you, Dana. Surrender. Reset. And play.” Or some version of that which feels suited to how I want to FEEL in that moment. And then I actively nudge myself to shift gears. My husband LOVES to see me more relaxed and playful around the kids, and I want that too. So, I remind myself and simply PRACTICE it. You can do it too. Give it a try this weekend and keep us posted. XOXO, Dana
After watching this, it seems like a “no-brainer”! Thinking back on being a mommy (my daughter is 5) The “true me” has slowly been buried under attempting to be the “perfect mom”. The problem for me is that I am having trouble remembering who that person is and how to incorporate that back!