I recently read a study by the Marriage Foundation that says that couples who have a date night once a month are 14% less likely to break up.
I can see how that’s true, especially for parents.
Dating builds intimacy, gives a relationship momentum, creates excitement and romance, and invites SWEET RELIEF from the monotony of childrearing
And I can personally vouch for these “results” of an active dating life.
Read on… and let me share this story about dating-after-kids with you…
Just two weeks after I gave birth to our son, my husband burst through the front door, proudly holding up two tickets to see the rock band, Muse.
“Amazing!” I said. “I love Muse! When’s the show?”
“Tomorrow!” he proclaimed.
“Huh? Wait. What?”
I was sure he was going to say it was months away.
My engorged breasts began to pulsate as I imagined being away from the baby that night.
I started to stammer, searching for a way out— I mean, we’d only just brought him home!
But my resistance was met with an impassioned plea:
“I don’t want to become one of those couples who doesn’t go out just because we had a baby!” my husband said, as if he were reading my mind.
“I know, I know, I don’t want that either! But he’s just two weeks old. I’m so, SO tired and my vagina still hurts!”
“Please, let’s do this. Please. Let’s be those parents who stay young and free and fun!” he replied.
He was dead serious, and while I thought he had terrible timing, I saw his honesty and appreciated his intention to protect and nurture our relationship.
He didn’t want our unique sense of spirited, social fun together to fade away just because we’d become parents.
Of course, the idea of making any sudden changes to our newfound, nightly baby routine made me panic.
I was perfectly satisfied to snuggle up on the couch watching (no, sleeping through) films and eating frozen lasagna brought over by friendly neighbors.
Plus, like I said, my vagina.
But guess what? We went.
I pumped before and after the show (he packed up the cooler).
I stood and danced for as long as I could (and sat for a good hour of the show on a donut).
Did we leave early? (Yes).
Were we proud we’d gone on a truly amazing date? HELL YES.
And while we were brand new parents, we made some kind of symbolic statement to step away from our parenting routine and reinstate our status as a romantic couple.
And for the last 8.5 years, we’ve continued this tradition.
Date night is one of the aspects of our relationship that I love and appreciate the most.
It fuels and refuels us, time and time again.
And so, I’m wondering… what about you?
As your kids have multiplied and the exhaustion intensifies and the budgets tighten up, have date nights with your spouse fallen by the wayside?
Or, do you ever plan a date night and then cancel because you just feel exhausted and uninspired?
If that’s the case, you’re not alone!
So many mamas & couples struggle with this. But it’s easier to turn around than you might think.
In today’s video, I explain how simple it can be to plan a 3-month calendar of amazing dates and issue you a challenge to make it happen with your partner.
Check it out and leave me a comment with your top tips for a hot date night!