When was the last time you used the word “fun” to describe your daily life as a mom?
Is it fun to clean up toys, be thrown up on, prepare meals and snacks, potty train, teach manners, run errands, carpool, help with homework, and wrangle wild things into bed… all while juggling a career and your relationship?
The short answer: NOT SO MUCH.
I get it. In the early days of parenting (and heck, even now sometimes), I often struggled to experience the FUN and JOY of mothering.
While I hate to admit it, I often found the minutiae of motherhood boring, which only made me feel guilty. What’s worse is that this inner discord and sense of “must work before play” also affected my marriage and romance. I was often restless, resentful, and unhappy at the end of the day, and my husband was getting the bare minimum from me — whatever was leftover.
Don’t get me wrong, I've always loved being a mother, but there were times I was downright irritated and overwhelmed by the endless obligations that came with it.
And let me tell you something: obligation is So. Not. Sexy.
After one ridiculous episode in which I refused my husband’s romantic offer to go outside and look at the stars with him (I chose to finish washing bottles instead), I decided to make a change.
I wanted to unearth bliss within the chaos, rediscover delight in the precious moments with my kid, and find a way to make my life a whole lot of fun again. Something had to shift and I had a hunch it would have to be my attitude.
- I decided I would CHOOSE FUN, whenever possible.
- I would choose PLEASURE over a sense of obligation.
- I would choose SILLINESS over boredom.
- I would choose AMUSEMENT over irritation.
- I would choose my MOM TRIBE over isolation.
- I would choose to SEEK SENSUALITY over strict scheduling.
And one of the ways I did this was to give myself the PERMISSION TO DITCH. To ditch the obligations that made me feel burned out. The obligations that made me feel irritated and overstretched and resentful.
And in today’s video, I share how I did that and the beautiful effects it’s created in my life (and for my kids and husband, too!)
No matter how many kids you have or what your circumstances are, you too can adopt this practice and give yourself the same kind of permission.
Click through to watch and learn:
- What “Obligation Nation” is and what you’re sacrificing if you get stuck there.
- How to identify which obligations you should ditch
- How “ditching” makes space for motherhood to become way more joyful and sensual
- Why it’s ok to let the dishes and laundry sit for an extra day
- The questions you need to ask yourself to start taking some obligations off your plate
Be sure to watch the video, and even ask your partner to watch it with you so that they can support your decision to ditch more & stress less.
As always, thanks for watching and I want to see your comments below.
Take a moment to answer the questions:
1) What does choosing more fun look like to you?
2) What can you ditch this week that feels dull, boring, too intense or stressful?
Share as much detail as you can. Moms sharing with moms is just about the best thing we can do to support one another on this wild ride of motherhood.
Thanks so much for watching and commenting.
And yes, even with this new ‘permission to ditch,’ I know you’ve still got to run the household and get it all done.
But I promise you that it’s YOUR CHOICE to have more fun while you’re at it!
XOXO,
Dana
