But when it comes to sex, ugh. You’re just not there right now. You’re left wondering “Why am I never turned on?”
I get it. After my kids were born, I wasn’t there either.
And I guarantee a lot of other moms can relate. It’s one of those new-mom struggles that many of us face.
Sadly, this disconnect with your partner and the intimate part of your relationship isn’t abnormal. Or uncommon. But that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. And it doesn’t mean you should get stuck there.
That’s why today’s video focuses on what I like to call MOJO BLOCKS, or the reasons you’re NOT feeling all that turned on
These are the obstacles that’ve drained you of desire, lowered your self-esteem, and left you wondering if passion will ever return to your partnership.
Lack of Body Confidence
When it comes to how pregnancy and becoming a mom changes us, one of the first and most significant changes is our bodies. They obviously change. They grow. They shrink. They morph. It’s no wonder our confidence feels challenged!
When a lack of body confidence stops you from wanting to sensually engage with your partner, it’s time to put some self-love back in your life. If the extra pounds are getting you down, check out Why You Should Celebrate the Extra Pounds that Each Kid Gave You (even if you still want to lose them). When it’s more your body parts have moved and changed and are no longer where they used to be that’s holding you back, check out Truebomb Mom: How I Learned to Love My Belly, Boobs, and Thighs After Babies.
Stuck in the Mom Zone
Sometimes it’s not our lack of confidence that holds us back. One of the common challenges faced by mothers is being stuck in what I call the “Mom Zone”, which is not necessarily a sexy place to be. The mom zone leaves us bored, pressured, and missing our freedom. But I’m here to tell you that you can be a great mom and still be a sensual and satisfied woman.
Check out these blog posts that help find yourself again and celebrate the woman you are. Give Yourself Permission to Ditch and Have More Fun talks about letting go of unnecessary obligations to find time for yourself. In How to Abandon Mom Guilt and Have More Fun, I talk about how my philosophy of ‘licking the frosting’ can help you get out of the mom zone and create more fun in your life.
When it’s low libido that’s blocking you from embracing intimacy, you’re not alone. Moms are exhausted. We’re tired. And sometimes we’re just plain touched out.
When you’re looking to up your desire for sex, read Where to Begin if Your Libido Has Bombed. Or if it’s that being a mom has taken over your life and become your main focus, check out What to Do when Sex Drops Off Your Priority List, which teaches you a simple trick to boost your desire.
There’s no doubt that relationship resentment is a desire killer. You can’t be attracted and aroused and wanting to be with your partner at the same time you’re bitter because you do the majority of the childcare and household duties. Or when you’re irritated because your partner doesn’t realize you haven’t left the house without the children in two weeks or been able to take a shower in three days.
The fact is resentment can RUIN your relationship. And it’s up to you to stop it! You can find out how to do it in How to Get Your Needs Met. Or maybe drop this one in your man’s inbox, Attention Dads: Here’s What Moms Need to Really Desire Sex with You.
Another mojo block that keeps you from living your sexiest and most satisfying life is romantic disconnect, which describes the phenomenon that occurs when new parents become more like roommates than lovers.
To bring the spark back, consider 2 Tips to Reconnect with Your Spouse or 3 Ways to Keep Attraction Alive while Parenting Together. I’m a big fan of intentionally flirting with your man and making and keeping regularly scheduled date nights.
The old adage “all sex is good sex” may work for men, but I’ll be the first to say that it’s NOT TRUE for women. Bad sex is completely unsatisfying and often leaves us frustrated, not only physically, but emotionally as well. Maybe your sex life used to be stellar, but now your sex drives are mismatched. Or your wants and needs have changed. Or maybe it was never that great and now you want more.
Regardless of what happened in the past, you CAN have the sex you want. Check out 3 Tips to Make Married Sex Fun Again or Spice Up Your Sex Life with this One Simple Trick. I’m also a huge fan of scheduling sex and although it doesn’t sound spontaneous and exciting, it can still be fun and pleasurable. Check out How to Make Scheduled Sex More Awesome.
Here’s the thing, being a mom is hard work. And it can have unintended consequences on our relationship. But you can fight for your partnership. You can make changes and address what’s holding you back.
And I’m here to help you do that. And so is the Satisfied Mama community. Because you deserve to feel happy, sexy, and satisfied.
I want to know what’s holding you back AND what you’re going to do about it. Share it in the comments so that we can work together to smash those mojo blocks into oblivion.