Imagine this: On Sunday night, you sit down with your planner to write down all your workout sessions, family meals, kids activities and work tasks… but this week, you add another category of planned activities: sex dates with your partner.
Did that just send a chill down your spine because it sounds too robotic or unromantic? More like adding another obligation to your week rather than sexy, spontaneous passion?
I hear you. I get it. But planning sex is actually a beautiful practice to keep your intimate relationship alive and well… and even, thriving.
Planning for sex will give both you and your partner a positive framework to make improvements in your sex life. It invites consistency, frequency and creativity. It gives you an opportunity to build anticipation together… and anticipation is an aphrodisiac.
Bottom line is that planning keeps your sex life active, frequent, and in a consistent rhythm, which opens the door for more spontaneous sex to emerge again.
And I know this from experience… because it’s been part of my weekly routine for the last ten years! And it’s worked a charm for keeping my sex life consistent and creative.
However, during this pandemic, I found myself in a bit of a romantic rut. Low desire. Mood swings. Needing space. We had dropped my “sex scheduling” practice… and sex had dropped off my priority list.
I quickly noticed the effect that had on me and my marriage — more bickering, more frustration, less vitality and less joy. I didn’t like it.
So, I gave myself a challenge: To schedule sex twice a week for four weeks in a row.
And in this week’s Truth Bomb Mom video, I share exactly what what happened, and how it benefited my life and relationship:
This 4-week experiment gave our sex life a much-needed boost, and helped reduce my stress and increase my vitality and happiness.
The planning wasn’t boring. It was exciting. It improved our communication. It enhanced the creativity of our intimacy. And… if wound up increasing my desire for more spontaneous sex too.
Scheduling sex works. It’s worked for me for years… and I think it will work for you too.
Here are a few ways that scheduling sex can benefit you + your partner:
Increased Creativity
Scheduling sex creates an opportunity to invite creativity into your love life.
If you know you’re going to make love on Tuesday night, you can start to brainstorm things like… What might I want to wear? What new position could we try? What energy do I want to experience?
Great sex starts in the mind… and brainstorming and discussing ideas with your partner about the sex you’re going to have makes for better, more creative sex.
Plus, it allows you to look forward to your next session and build up ANTICIPATION.
Heightened Desire
After having kids, your libido can take a real nosedive. (I know mine did!)
Between the exhaustion, loss of me-time, and having less “we-time” with your partner, it’s normal for your libido to feel depressed.
But, sex begets sex. Pleasure begets pleasure.
And so, when you’re scheduling sex and showing up for it, your body will start to remember… “Ohhhh, this FEELS GOOD! I like this!”
And so it will respond with more organic desire.
Increased Communication With Partner
Lastly, scheduling sex encourages aligned communication with your partner!
Each week when you “make your sex schedule,” you create an opportunity for communication and connection with your partner.
What day works for you? What erotic energies do we want to try? Should we shop for a new toy to play with? What’s great about our sex? What could be better?
These conversations lead to better sexual communication both outside — and inside — the bedroom.
Scheduling Sex is Key Right Now!
We’ve all been living through a very turbulent time… and keeping the physical side of your relationship alive has been hard. But don’t let pleasure disappear. Let it be healing. Let it be a connecting force between you and your partner. And let it be simple. Carve out time in your calendar each week for intimacy, and allow those Sexy Sessions to bring stability, consistency, and increased pleasure to the both of you!
As always, I want to know your thoughts!
Does scheduling sex work for you? Does it sound unromantic to you?
Drop me a line below…
